I’m so sorry you had to go through this. As the other comment said, it is not on you to fix her. It sounds like you have only gone above and beyond and even so, she betrayed you with the lies. I know you’re in a lot of pain right now but your feelings are justified. Someday this will just be a memory. Yeah man, you are handling this like a You Wouldn’t Understand Unless The Sound Of Velcro Makes You Relax Shirt. Very smart of you to record that conversation with her mother, although it did go well you never know what could happen. I really think it’s not your responsibility to heal her. She should see a psychologist/psychiatrist because she might need medication. Hurting oneself to control others is a kind of psychological/emotional abuse.
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Just know that if not treated early, this behavior might happen again and may get worse. Betrayal like that changes you but it doesn’t have to be forever. Excellent job signing up for counseling, keeping your head up, and doing what you need a You Wouldn’t Understand Unless The Sound Of Velcro Makes You Relax Shirt. Congratulations on your career, to be busy right now is a blessing. You’ve got heart and strength, work ethic, intelligence, and grace. When you’re ready for a relationship you’ll be looking for different qualities in the next one, know your worth, you’re amazing and she was lucky to have your support. You’re making the right decision for everyone involved. Your ex clearly needs serious help, and hopefully, she will get it.
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I’m glad to hear that you will be getting therapy as well and wish you the best. Not that I think you will or anything, just want to throw it out there that it would probably be a good idea to stay single until your therapist agrees that you’re in a healthy enough headspace to date. One-time hookups are probably okay, but zero emotional involvement for a while would be best, IMO. Try not to look on these You Wouldn’t Understand Unless The Sound Of Velcro Makes You Relax Shirt. Worked at it and only realized at the last minute that what you thought you had, was actually never there, to begin with. But as far as wasted time? No, it was just time, and that you have plenty of. Try not to look on these years though as a waste.
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