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I’m sure he will be, but still. Jerry is Jack’s right-hand man, I can’t imagine how difficult it will be to get the gas station “normal” again when he’s compromised! I think Jeremy is a demigod of some kind. His perceived stupidity is awe-inspiring to the point of genius. Man, I feel like half the cast of Jacks’ crazy life is gods just fucking around with mortals. Maybe Jack is a Halloween If You Like My Pumpkins You Should See My Pie Shirt. Not a mayfly got into you from the previous post, I think they might’ve gotten into them. Clearly they are possessive creatures of some sort. Maybe Jerry smoked one by accident. Like, he lit up and accidentally hit his cherry on a bug and smoked its essences.

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If it would have got in him, via mouth, or ear he would have been possessed and stabbed himself with a filet knife. Lol. Knowing the crazy times at the gas station normally, that’s not that out of the question. Poor Jack. He just can’t catch a break and neither can anyone around him. Bad for him, good for us! Maybe Abe was already dead, like maybe the impostor or whatever killed him, so it could take his place? Just a Halloween If You Like My Pumpkins You Should See My Pie Shirt. Sounds like Jerry’s rolling on acid or something similar though in the closet… Jack, are party drugs normal for Jerry? I don’t remember… Oh my goodness, poor Abraham! But I can’t help but keep circling back to Amy’s blase attitude…

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And if not the mayflies, what was up with the sirens in your last report? Seems like the sheriff’s been compromised like Abe. Do you remember that old war of the world parody where the aliens were running around with a radio blasting, “we mean you no harm!”? The flies are trying to make Jack think it’s safe to make a run for it. Clearly. Its ok Jack. Were all hoping for your Halloween If You Like My Pumpkins You Should See My Pie Shirt. Because Antonio said you don’t have Fatal familial insomnia. Id suggests not drinking the coffee or the water from the gas station. Invest in a Keurig. If Jack knows that the other part of town isn’t swarmed, then they could just evacuate there immediately.

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