Definitely double-check that the Will is actually binding in this regard. I specialize in estate management in New Zealand and funeral instructions are NOT legally binding. You can also start the Official He Died For Me And So I Love For Him Flowers Shirt with a chosen funeral home. If they’ve already received money and instructions from you as a client, they’re more likely to adhere to them. I’m very sorry you’re going through this. I hope you can get things arranged how you wish. Funeral instructions aren’t legally binding in the UK either but when I did my will last year I was advised to write a letter of intent to go with my will that lays it all out how I want things. Nothing can be done against my next of kin if they disagree.
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If OP wasn’t married that would be a huge risk yes, but as it stands the husband should be the next of kin, so that really helps in this situation. If not married I might suggest setting up some advanced directives (not sure what type tho) to have an Official He Died For Me And So I Love For Him Flowers Shirt. I would post my wishes on social media. That way it’s known if my wishes aren’t followed that my family is disrespecting me after my death. And make it known so too. “If my services deviate from this then my parents have chosen to disrespect my wishes and replaced them with their own.” type of thing. My mom is hardcore catholic and I’m an atheist.
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Nurse here. Advanced directives don’t affect what happens after death. They are meant to let the health care team know the patient’s wishes before death. But when the patient can’t speak for themselves. It’s stuff like whether or not you’d want an Official He Died For Me And So I Love For Him Flowers Shirt. Whether you want to be intubated, etc. Your general idea is good though. Go ahead and call the funeral home and tell them your wishes. Tell your hospice nurses the situation and what you want to be done. Hospice nurses are AWESOME when it comes to following patients’ wishes despite the family drama. If you go ahead and tell the people involved in your care now. They can make sure your wishes are followed later.
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