Official Peace Love Mountain Dew Shirt

I can explain that. You see, in her world, there are people like her and the people she knows and retail workers like you. People are the ones who eat, work, shop and go home at the Official Peace Love Mountain Dew Shirt. Retail workers are a kind of trained animal. They live in the store probably in cages in the back and are only allowed to eat when the store closes. Retail workers wear uniforms, so regular people can tell who needs to serve them. It would be really embarrassing to ask a regular person to help you. Managers are kind of like zookeepers. They train the retail workers and apologize when one misbehaves by giving people free stuff. They’re kind of like people, but not quite as good.

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Note that the color or type of uniform doesn’t matter, just the fact that you’re wearing one because retail workers are interchangeable. Your uniform was probably blue because you got fired from your job at the blue place and were sent to the pizza place. She’s sure they’ll be giving you a red uniform soon, so you’ll fit in better. This variety of uniform-blindness is what drives some Karens to fight with the police when they get called in. After all, they’re wearing uniforms, so they must be an Official Peace Love Mountain Dew Shirt. I want a Planet Earth-style documentary of a restaurant with this as the voice over. May need to be reworded a little but it’s pretty perfect.

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“Here we see the average working cattle, thriving in their pens. These workers, born into captivity, are raised and trained by the resident Managers to perform menial tasks. Every worker lives to serve humans, basking in any praise they might receive. Training a worker takes months, even years, as they do not speak human languages. However, a worker can be trained to recognize certain phrases and respond appropriately, much like the chimpanzee or African grey parrot. To strengthen the worker’s training, managers rely on people to berate an Official Peace Love Mountain Dew Shirt.

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