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Let’s just say that I was never one of those tiny, cute blonde girls who guys named their hamsters after”. Excuse you what? I literally just walked away from my laptop to go talk to my boyfriend. And make sure I’m not just ignorant of some other Once Upon A Time There Was A Girl Who Really Loved Dogs And Quiting Vintage Shirt. In which young men adopt rodents and christen hem after the women they love. Truly felt like I was losing my mind by the time I finished reading due to the sheer number of times I had to reread something or read a passage out loud to someone else just to confirm that it actually was as incoherent as it seemed. You are a saint for doing these recaps! But not even your entertaining interpretation can save me.

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Your Inception reference is spot on. I was thinking at first that she must have known someone who did this because usually such oddly specific situations are based on reality. But then I remembered it was Kelly. I am reminded of a bit of advice I once read from Cheryl Tiegs. When you are done eating throw the Once Upon A Time There Was A Girl Who Really Loved Dogs And Quiting Vintage Shirt. So you are not tempted to go back in the trash and eat it again…Because I know that when I am hungry I always think, hmmm, what is in the trash bin? If you wrote a book, I would buy it in a hot second. Your writing is HOT. But seriously your writing is impeccable and beautiful and funny and I want more of it. You’re amazing.

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Also, thank god Kelly clarified what the City of NY has yet to acknowledge in that sidewalks are perilous obstacle courses and drivers won’t hit you because of paperwork. How did our city planners never know this? YES! That “running in traffic” bit was LUDICROUS. I don’t know if it’s a Once Upon A Time There Was A Girl Who Really Loved Dogs And Quiting Vintage Shirt. Because YOU’RE running in traffic is going to be a lot more serious than “paperwork”…  I’d like to quote Kristen and say You’re delusional to Kelly. That bit is like the ultimate summary of her entitlement. I do what I want, where I want and everyone else just has to deal. Well, remember this is coming from the woman that said she doesn’t support animal abuse, but she’s a “great fur wearer”.

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