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Sorry I’ve been gone so long. This one was tough to get out but hopefully, it’ll clear up some cobwebs floating around my brain and allow me to post stupid stuff again. Thanks for all the support! Glad to have you back EMR, gotta be honest I only made it about halfway through this one. A bit close to home. But thank you for writing it. Thank you for sharing this. You made the Official Peace Love Poodles Shirt. Getting help is hard. My dad killed himself, and I wish every day he’d gotten help instead. My husband is a road patrol deputy, and one of my greatest fears is that he will bottle everything up inside instead of talking to me about it. Keep on fighting the good fight.

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Thanks and sorry for your loss. The biggest thing I can suggest is to be the shoulder he needs to prop himself on. If it gets too heavy, there are some good counselors out there who, unfortunately, have a lot of experience working with law enforcement. I am not a first responder, police or military but I read your whole story because I had an Official Peace Love Poodles Shirt. I have PTSD and as I read your story, I just wanted to say to take care of yourself and thank you for what you’re doing. This just broke my heart. If this is truly your story, I pray that you get some help because no one can take this on without help. If this is a fictionalized accounting, you have captured the very heart and struggle of thousands of police officers.

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I honestly thought I was immune to the PTSD thing. Over 15 years, I saw some crazy stuff but then, BOOM!, it hit me anyway. I think it was just piling up and the crappy ways I had developed to cope with the stress suffered a catastrophic failure all at once. I was lucky that I got great, individualized help. If you would’ve told me three years ago I’d be meditating and practicing mindfulness on an Official Peace Love Poodles Shirt. But, that’s what it takes for me to not be crazy so I guess it’s a wash! It’s great you’ve found what works for you. Mindfulness is definitely helpful. PTSD impacts people differently and different coping mechanisms help. I personally do art and exercise, floating and massage.

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